The Daily Beast recently featured an article called 15 Signs You'll Get Divorced. It's filled with stats on off-the-wall traits that supposedly predict the likelihood of marital demise.

Either I'm extra special or the stats are a bunch of hooey. First note that Jim and I have been married 28 years, then consider these figures from the article:

If you didn't smile for photographs early in life, your marriage is five times more likely to end in divorce than if you smiled intensely in early photographs. I didn't smile much in pictures. I was shy. I hated my teeth. Braces would have made a difference. Does that mean those who had braces as a child are more likely to have a successful marriage?

If you have two sons, you face a 36.9 percent likelihood of divorce, but if you have two daughters, the likelihood rises to 43.1 percent. Ummm, we have three daughters. What does that mean for our marital bliss ... or discord?

If you're a woman who got married before the age of eighteen, your marriage faces a 48 percent likelihood of divorce within ten years. I got married at 17. It was the week before my 18th birthday, though, so maybe being within mere days of the magical age made all the difference. But then again, maybe not: The article says those marrying at age 18 or 19 face a 40 percent likelihood of divorce within ten years.

If you're a woman who has recently been diagnosed with cancer or multiple sclerosis, your marriage is six times more likely to end in divorce than if your husband had been diagnosed with those diseases instead. "A study of 'partner abandonment' revealed that husbands are six times more likely to leave sick wives than wives are to leave sick husbands," the article explains. Well, I have multiple sclerosis ... have for 17 years ... and Jim's not abandoned me yet. Although that could be chalked up to the fact that he has a grab-bag of health issues himself, and I think I do more caretaking of him than he does of me. (He might refute that, but don't believe him. You know how men are when they're sick!)

In actuality, I'd have to say that having MS saved me from divorce, at least considering this stat: If you're a dancer or choreographer, you face a 43.05 percent likelihood of divorce.  Shew! Because of the MS, there was no way in cuss I would have ever made it as a star on any dance floor. Thank you, MS!

All in all, I have to say stats, schmatz!

Although ... one can never be too sure. So I plan to keep a close eye on Jim's testosterone levels going forward. Get a load of this: If you're a man with high basal testosterone, you're 43 percent more likely to get divorced than men with low testosterone levels.

I'm off to see if Walgreen's offers a do-it-yourself, testosterone-level-checking kit. I certainly wouldn't want Jim getting too manly on me. I'll keep ya posted!

Today's question:

What's one deal-breaker for you, one sure reason for divorce?

My answer: Being abusive to my kids. (Why wasn't there a stat for that in the article?)