The F-ing guide to grandparenting

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how to be a grandparent

Without consistent commitment to the use of certain F-words, where might a grandparent be?

Not nearly as effective — or memorable — if you ask me.

Though many grandparents eliminate F-words from their vocabularies (at least when the G-kids are around) or ban the use of them from the kids themselves, I feel quite strongly that F-words should be accessed and emphasized. As often as possible. Especially when grandchildren are around.

Following are a few such F-words, five favorites of mine I focus on and do my best to use regularly in an effort to make a memorable impact...

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A cautionary tale: Look before they leap

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Poor Bud — and Brianna — learned a painful lesson the hard way not too long ago. A lesson in something I never really considered, as a parent or as a grandparent.

See, on a recent sunny day, Bud and Brianna headed to the local skatepark. Bud, a budding skateboarder, was excited to spend a couple hours trying out a park he'd not yet frequented. (Truth be told, I think he had frequented very few skate parks — if any — since his passion for boarding began.)

I had babysat Bud that morning, and he mentioned several times the fun he looked forward to that afternoon.

To say the kid was pumped is an understatement.

After lunch that day, Brianna and Bud headed to the skate park. As soon as they arrived, Bud could contain himself no longer. He quickly donned his helmet, grabbed his board, and raced to his first obstacle: an awesome, amazing, yet seemingly (relatively) safe jump.

It looked like this:

skatepark obstacle 

Bud figured he'd go up the angled ramp on the front side and down...

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7 benefits of being a long-distance grandparent

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I am a long-distance grandma. Have been from the beginning of my grandma gig.

The first few years I moaned and groaned ceaselessly about the miles separating me and my sweeties.

I'm now nearly nine years into grandmahood. In that time I've thankfully learned there is indeed — unbelievable as I first thought it might be — a bright side to my grandbabies living so far from me.

Following are a few such perks on which fellow long-distance grandparents just might agree.

long-distance grandparent 

 

ONE
Bathroom breaks at my house are a breeze. I never need straddle a step stool when using the toilet. Nor do I have to question who left the seat up as only two...

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I say that shutting up is hard to do

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Dear Mr. Sedaka,

You were so right. I know that it's true. Breaking up is hard to do. Especially for teens, when true love seems a fickle, heartbreaking foe.

I do know how difficult breaking up can be. I've been there, done that. Long, long ago, admittedly one of the billions of boomers who once sang away heartbreak blues crooning along to your catchy, comforting tune.

I'm decades removed from being a youngster longing for love. And in the years since breakups with beaus broke my heart, I've found something more difficult to do than breaking up, Mr. Sedaka. And that's shutting up.

Trust me: It's waaaay harder to do than breaking up.

I'm not talking about shutting up regarding social or personal injustice. No one should ...

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Grandma takes on Tarzan

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When a mother becomes a grandmother, she welcomes into her brood not only the human children of her children but the four-legged lovies of those kids and grandkids, too.

I'm talking grandpets.

I've taken care of grandpets galore throughout the eight-plus years I've been a grandma. Mostly canine critters such as Andrea's Luke and Brianna's Hunter and Max.

Over Labor Day Weekend, Brianna, Patrick, and Bud travelled to the desert to play in the pool and hike through hot, dry hills with Bubby, Mac, Jak, and their parents. I was charged with watching granddogs Hunter and Max plus their feline family members, my grandcats Alice and Mackenzie.

Plus another grandpet, one that belongs to Bud.

Meet Tarzan, Bud's "crested eyelash gecko":

crested eyelash gecko 

When I became grandma to kids and critters, I never...

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