5 things I do different in an empty nest

My nest was full for a good 20-plus years. Then one by one, my three girlie birds flew away.

It took a while to get used to the empty spaces and absent faces, but I'd say I'm now past the mourning phase and well into appreciating that my husband and I have the place all to ourselves.

Things are different in an empty nest. It's not only the fewer family members kicking about the place, but the activities that happen at home now that make for a wee bit different way of life. To wit, the following.

5 THINGS I DO DIFFERENT IN AN EMPTY NEST

I grocery shop only when absolutely necessary. When my nest was full, I had a regular shopping day. Every single week for a bazillion years, I'd make a list, gather my coupons, then head out the door for the chore I hate most: stocking the fridge, the pantry, the bathrooms and more. I'd walk the grocery store aisles and fill my cart on shopping day whether the cupboards were empty and we really needed food or not. Now that the nest is empty, I shop when the fridge features little more than a few shriveled grapes, a jar of pickle relish, and two bottles of salad dressing that likely should have been thrown away months ago.

We eat dinner in front of the television... a lot. When my oldest daughter was about five years old, we moved our big television (ya know, the one in a massive wood console cabinet and weighing 10 tons and having a UHF and VHF channel changer thingee yet no remote) out of the living room on the main floor where it was visible from the dining room, and into the family room in the basement. Watching television during family dinners did not fit my idea of what family dinners should be. So the TV went down the stairs and conversation between family members became the goal. Every once in a while, we'd have a night featuring pizza and movies, a night when it was okay to sit in front of the TV in the family room while eating. Now that the nest is empty, Jim and I have many nights when it's okay to sit in front of the TV while eating. (The TV is still downstairs, though, as I still consider having it visible from the dining room verboten. Interestingly enough, our dining room features far less actual dining than it did in the past.)

I run around the house naked. Okay, I don't really run around the entire house naked, but I do a nude dash from the bathroom to the bedroom to get my clothes after I shower. When my girls were at home, I brought my clothes into the bathroom (not the master bath, which is Jim's... and we don't share a bath... which is one reason we've managed more than 30 years of marriage... but that's another story for another day) before showering, so I could get dried and dressed before even opening the door. I could still do that but I don't. Partially because racing from my bathroom to the bedroom — which involves climbing a flight of stairs — is sometimes the only exercise I get for the day. Plus, as I get a package delivered nearly every single day, I enjoy the challenge of hauling <cuss> before a delivery man appears at the door. (Thankfully for said delivery men, I have never, ever not won the challenge.)

I make my husband breakfast on weekdays. When our children were at home, said children were my primary focus morning, noon and night. Poor Jim never got breakfast on school days unless he was willing to have a bowl of cold cereal — which he hates and I've never seen him eat in all the decades of our marriage — or a bowl of hot cereal, which he hates, too. Those were the main menu options on school days, along with Johnny Cake now and then (carbs were our friend back in the day). Now that the nest is empty — and I'm a work-from-home freelancer — I feel pretty guilty lounging around in my jammies as Jim heads out the door to toil away on bringing in our only stable income. The guilt is compounded if he has nothing in his tummy. So I make him coffee to take with him. And I make him breakfast to take with him, too. Mostly something featuring carbs because though they're no longer our friend, Jim loves carbs. At least he no longer goes hungry on weekday mornings.

And, of course, we eat funnel cake for breakfast, if we want. I admitted this yesterday. Carbs. Grease. No justifications. Enough said.

Today's question:

What do you do different in your empty nest (or hope to do once it empties)?

Picture this: A little perspective

Last Thursday morning as I did my best to keep my wits about me while preparing to leave for BlogHer '13, I received a last-minute text message from Megan. It was the following photo of Mac — a reminder to breathe and not take stressful conference-attending matters too seriously.

It worked. Seriously, how could it not?

Today's question:

What child most recently made you smile... and how?

BlogHer, boys and more

Today I'm off to BlogHer 2013 in Chicago. Last time I went, in 2011, I went with a friend. This time I'm going completely alone. When I get there, though, I'll be meeting some dear friends whom I speak to nearly every single day yet have never met in person.

I'm excited.

And I'm nervous.

A praying mantis can only do so much, so today I'm simply posting some recent photos I love of the boys I love. Plus a few other photos I recently took that I love, too. I'm hoping they'll leave me with a peaceful, easy feeling.

I hope they leave you with a peaceful, easy feeling, too.

 

(Oh geez... I just posted all those, then realized I didn't watermark a single one. Oh well. Gonna stay peaceful and believe folks will do the right thing and not steal my pics.)

Today's question:

Do you typically take more photos of people or more of nature?

Picture this: Peace, courtesy a bug

I've been rather frazzled of late for a variety of reasons, the kind of frazzling that hurts the jaw when you realize come end of day that you've been gritting your teeth for hours. Yeah, that kind of frazzling.

Last Thursday, amidst the frazzle and dazzle, I went outside to bring the garbage can back from the road and nearly stepped on this as I headed back inside:

I grabbed my camera. I Googled. I was floored. Yes, that's a praying mantis. I've lived in Colorado more than 40 years and have never, ever seen one. So I did what anyone would do: I posted it on Facebook. I got several "Wow!" comments plus a couple from fellow Coloradans sharing how they once-upon-a-time saw a praying mantis in Colorado. And I got a comment from my friend Ruth directing me to read this:

The mantis comes to us when we need peace, quiet and calm in our lives. Usually the mantis makes an appearance when we've flooded our lives with so much business, activity, or chaos that we can no longer hear the still small voice within us because of the external din we've created.

<snip for length and copyright reasons>

An appearance from the mantis is a message to be still, go within, meditate, get quiet and reach a place of calm. It may also a sign for you to be more mindful of the choices you are making and confirm that these choices are congruent.

— from http://www.whats-your-sign.com/animal-symbolism-mantis.html

It brought tears to my eyes. And it brought me peace... courtesy a bug.

Today's question:

What brings you peace during frazzled times?

Your life... in jelly beans, plus GRAND Social No. 58

Welcome back! Say yay for Monday! And say yeah to using your beans wisely!

Wha... huh?

Food for thought — sweet food for thought — for the start of the new week:

Use your (jelly) beans wisely.

And enjoy the GRAND Social No. 58.

Thank you for joining me!

How it works:

• All grandparent bloggers are invited to add a link. You don't have to blog specifically about grandparenting, just be a grandparent who blogs.

• To link up a post, copy the direct URL to the specific post — new or old — that you want to share, not the link to your blog's home page. Then click the blue button marked with "Add your link" below and follow the directions.

• You can add up to three posts, but no duplicates, contests, giveaways, or Etsy sites, please.

• Adding a mention such as This post linked to the GRAND Social to your linked posts is appreciated. Or, you can post the GRAND Social button anywhere on your page using the following code:

<a href="/" target="_blank"><img src="http://grandmasbriefs.squarespace.com/storage/GRANDsocialbutton.jpg " alt="Grandma’sBriefs.com" width="125" height="125" /></a>

• The GRAND Social linky is open for new posts through Wednesday evening, so please come back to see those added after your first visit.

• If you're not a blogger, you have the pleasure of being a reader. Bloggers who link up would be honored to have one and all — other bloggers as well as readers — visit, read and, if so moved, comment, even if just a "Hey, stopping by from the GRAND Social."

• For another grandparent linky, visit Connie's Grandparent's Say It Saturday Link Party each Saturday.

Silly sisters, plus GRAND Social No. 57

Welcome back! I hope your weekend warmed your heart.

I wanted to share with you a heartwarming moment from my weekend. The funeral for my cousin on Friday was a difficult affair filled with many tears. Fortunately, the gathering of friends and family afterward included hugs, smiles and unexpected moments to help the healing begin.

I enjoyed one special moment of levity with two of my four sisters — the two who bookend me in birth order, by three years on each side — as Brianna attempted to get a nice photo of the three of us together for the first time in far too long:

 

Sometimes you just gotta smile through the tears. It felt especially good to do exactly that with these two; it would have been even better if our other two sisters had been able to join us. Someday, I hope.

Also today is GRAND Social No. 57. Thank you for joining me. I'm trying out a new link party program, so please let me know if you have any problems with it. Link up, read up, enjoy!

How it works:

• All grandparent bloggers are invited to add a link. You don't have to blog specifically about grandparenting, just be a grandparent who blogs.

• To link up a post, copy the direct URL to the specific post — new or old — that you want to share, not the link to your blog's home page. Then click the blue button marked with "Add your link" below and follow the directions.

• You can add up to three posts, but no duplicates, contests, giveaways, or Etsy sites, please.

• Adding a mention such as This post linked to the GRAND Social to your linked posts is appreciated. Or, you can post the GRAND Social button anywhere on your page using the following code:

<a href="/" target="_blank"><img src="http://grandmasbriefs.squarespace.com/storage/GRANDsocialbutton.jpg " alt="Grandma’sBriefs.com" width="125" height="125" /></a>

• The GRAND Social linky is open for new posts through Wednesday evening, so please come back to see those added after your first visit.

• If you're not a blogger, you have the pleasure of being a reader. Bloggers who link up would be honored to have one and all — other bloggers as well as readers — visit, read and, if so moved, comment, even if just a "Hey, stopping by from the GRAND Social."

• For another grandparent linky, visit Connie's Grandparent's Say It Saturday Link Party each Saturday.

An InLinkz Link-up

Picture this: Happy birthday, Granny

Jim's mom turned 83 yesterday.

This is how I like to remember Granny, with my girls...

Megan, Andrea, Granny, Brianna — 1994

She was one of the best.

We love you, Granny.

Today's question:

What age stands out in your memory when thinking of your grandparents — your age and their age.

Weekend highs and lows, plus GRAND Social No. 56

Welcome to the new week! I hope your weekend was grand. Mine was a mish-mash of highs and lows.

One significant weekend high? I participated in a workshop on using DSLR cameras in manual mode instead of auto. Meaning learning about the "three-legged stool" of aperture, shutter, and ISO. I'd read on those things, watched videos on those things time and again. But being all about numbers, which are not my thing, the concept just would not stick in my brain. Going over it in person with a pro finally made it make sense for me. The workshop was presented — for free! — by my pastor, who is a fantastic photographer (and blogger) who's more than happy to share his gift. I look forward to our next workshop: a field trip to a regional park to practice our new skills.

And a significant low? Friday night I learned my cousin — who would have been just 40 years old today — passed away unexpectedly earlier in the day, was found slumped over her computer. Tragic story, with the reason (we hope) to be revealed today once the autopsy is completed. She had a brain tumor removed in recent months, so that likely played into it. A brilliant light snuffed out too soon, breaking the hearts of many. Please keep her family in your thoughts and prayers. And cross your fingers for me too, please, as it'll be a busy week; family will arrive from Wisconsin for the funeral in the next couple days, with a few scheduled to stay at my house. I look forward to seeing my relatives, but the circumstances just plain suck.

Anyway... that was my weekend. And this is GRAND Social No. 56. Thank you so much for joining me!

How it works:

• All grandparent bloggers are invited to add a link. You don't have to blog specifically about grandparenting, but you must be a grandparent who blogs.

• To link up, copy the direct URL to the specific post — new or old — that you want to share, not the link to your blog's home page. Then click the "Click here to enter" text below and follow the directions to add your post and graphic to the list.

• You can add up to three posts, but no duplicates, please, and none you have promoted on a previous GRAND Social linky. And no contests, giveaways, or Etsy sites, please.

• Adding a mention at the bottom of your linked posts, such as This post has been linked to the GRAND Social linky, is appreciated. Or, you can post the GRAND Social button anywhere on your page using the following code:

<a href="/" target="_blank"><img src="http://grandmasbriefs.squarespace.com/storage/GRANDsocialbutton.jpg " alt="Grandma’sBriefs.com" width="125" height="125" /></a>

• The GRAND Social linky is open for new posts through Wednesday evening, so please come back to see those added after your first visit.

• If you're not a blogger, you have the pleasure of being a reader. Bloggers who link up would be honored to have one and all — bloggers and readers — visit, read and, if so moved, comment, even if just a "Hey, stopping by from the GRAND Social."

• Looking for another grandparent linky? Be sure to visit Connie's Grandparent's Say It Saturday Link Party each Saturday.

Thank you for participating in the GRAND Social!

Numbers that make up a life

The month of June is filled with dates of importance to my family, everything from birthdays to anniversaries to dates of gatherings and more.

Though many dates to remember and numbers to commemorate are marked on my June calendar, they're but a fraction of the dates that matter to me, to my family, just a few of the numbers that have made me who I am, for better or for worse.

Significant numbers — not all dates — roll easily off the top of my head and remind me where I came from, what I've gone through, what I have to be thankful for.

3.2

6.27

 3.10

6.19

8.18

6.10

3315

12.14

7.14

2129

7.9

8.3

1948

4.24

5.13

4396

6.22

11.16

1225

6.18

12.5

7.25

6.1

Jim is a numbers person. He works with numbers in his job. And he works with numbers outside of his job, too, manipulating them by adding, subtracting, dividing by a certain one to achieve another certain one that when added to two or three other meaningful digits result in the magical set of numbers that will, say, be the winning lottery numbers, the numbers that will add a six-figure number to the list above.

It hasn't happened yet, but who's to say it won't. Jim knows numbers, plays with them, finds comfort and answers in them.

I am not a numbers person. What I find in them, though, is this: When adding together all those I've listed above plus many others that don't roll so easily off the top of my head, the tip of my tongue, I come up with one — one lovely and amazing life that would not be the same if I were to subtract even just one single digit.

They're the numbers that count for this non-numbers person.

Today's question:

What are a few of the numbers that make up your life?

My frustration: 8 things I can't seem to master

I'm pretty good at a few things. I really stink at accomplishing other things, though, things many folks seem to have no problem at all achieving.

Here's my short-list of the latter:

8 things I can't seem to master

NOT one of mine, for mine don't even bud.1. Getting my irises to bloom. I have dozens upon dozens of (what I think are) irises in the back yard. The foliage sprouts from the ground every spring. The healthy green blades grow and grow and grow... then never become anything more than tall green sentinels guarding the rock garden. No blooms, no flowers, ever. They've been that way since we moved into this house. I can't seem to master making them bloom. They're not overcrowded, they're not in shade. They're not going to be allowed to stick around if they don't start doing something soon.

2. Finding the time to play with friends. I'm talking Words with Friends, Candy Crush and any other number of fun things folks play online with faraway friends and family. I've received many invitations, all have been ignored... or flat-out refused. I can't seem to manage my time to allow for play. Not even solo Bejeweled 3 play, and I love Bejeweled.

3. Photographing the moon. We had a fantastic full moon this past week. Despite having a great camera and using the correct settings plus a tri-pod, I still can't seem to master this. My latest effort:

4. Pretty summer feet. Soft and silky tootsies elude me. Despite pedicures, pampering creams, powerful pumicing and pretty polishes, my feet never reach soft and silky status. I'll spare you the photo; even at their prettiest, feet photos are funky.

5. Accepting my long-distance grandma status. Mac's birthday is June 1. Bubby's birthday is June 18. A joint party is scheduled for this Saturday. I can't be there, wasn't even invited to be there, as it's just accepted that I can't come. Accepted by everyone but me. I'm especially struggling with this one today.

Bubby and Mac, jumping on the trampoline in their jammies.

6. Commenting regularly. I try, bloggy friends. I really do try to get around to blogs and comment and let you know I enjoy what you're writing, doing, sharing. I read blogs via Feedly, marking those to comment on as soon as I have time. Then time evaporates. How do those of you who faithfully comment on blogs manage it? I really, really, really want to master this one. I welcome your tips.

7. Redesigning my blog so I have comment threading. Speaking of commenting, I also have good intentions of staying on top of replying to you wonderful folks who comment on my posts. My good intentions are thwarted primarily by no comment threading here on my blog. If I could pop in now and then and reply directly to each comment, I think we'd all be happier. I actually already have a sister site where I intend to move Grandma's Briefs. I have a few posts there, I have few photos there. Most importantly, I have comment threading there. But getting everything else there seems so incredibly daunting that I've not yet managed to wrap my head around it, much less master it.

8. Quitting. Despite my inability so far to master any of the above, I've not yet figured out how to quit trying. So I will keep trying. Chances are I'll eventually master at least a few. Except No. 5, of course, which is one I'm sure I will never master.

Today's question:

What have you not yet mastered but hope to eventually?