The next Grilled Grandma

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I gotta be honest with you guys: This week's Grilled Grandma is gaga. Really, truly gaga.

But I'm not just telling tales out of school. You see, Donne, the featured grandma of which I speak, readily admits she's gaga -- gaga over her grandkids!

Yet Donne doesn't hide her gaga-ness away. Instead, she started a society for all the other grandmas who consider themselves gaga. It's called GaGa Sisterhood and you can find out all about it -- even join the gaga group yourself, if you so choose -- on Donne's website, GaGa Sisterhood.

But first, take a gander at Donne's grilling. One look at the photos of her granddaughters and the reason for her being so gaga will be perfectly clear. Those girlies are gorgeous and look to have an abundance of joy in their hearts. You can get to Donne's grilling by clicking right HERE. (Or you can always be a rebel and click the tab on the top of this page, the tab appropriately marked "Grilled Grandmas.")

If you know of a gaga grandma who would be open to a grilling, please send me her first name and e-mail address. I'll contact her in hopes of adding yet another grandma -- or two or twelve -- to the Grilled Grandma schedule.

Today's question:

Donne is gaga for her grandkids. Sonny the Cuckoo Bird is cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs. What are you simply wild (or gaga or cuckoo) for?

My answer: In addition to being bonkers for Bubby, I'd say I'm pretty much bonkers for books, too. I can't resist them and collect far more than I can ever read. It's a pitiful habit, I must admit.

Five grandparenting mistakes

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I recently read an article on Grandparents.com about some of the mistakes made by grandparents. Titled "5 Mistakes Even Good Grandparents Make," the article warns Grandma and Grandpa to watch out for these issues that mar a near-perfect grandparenting record:

  1. Encouraging tantrums
  2. Agreeing to do too much
  3. Getting frustrated
  4. Falling for the hype
  5. Breaking too many rules

Well guess what? I don't do ANY of those!

Does that make me the perfect grandparent? Not by a long shot.

What it makes me is a long-distance grandma. A long-distance grandma physically incapable of committing such mistakes. For each of those mistakes -- with the exception of No. 4, but I'll get to that -- requires a grandparent to see his or her grandchild on a regular basis. And I definitely don't see Bubby often enough to rack up the faux pas, at least not those presented by the article.

To wit:

I've never committed No. 1 because Bubby is the perfect child who never, ever throws a tantrum. Okay, that's not true. But because I don't see him often, he's usually on his best behavior when he's around me and I can honestly say I've never seen him throw a tantrum. So I certainly can't encourage them.

The No. 2 mistake is impossible for me to make because I simply cannot agree to do too much. Believe me: I'd love to babysit too much and all the other "too much" issues of which the article speaks, but unless Megan were willing to send Bubby to me as an unaccompanied minor a few times a week -- or pay for me to fly to the desert a few times a week -- there's no way in cuss I can do too much.

No. 3? Well, the article notes how easy it is for a grandparent to become frustrated upon having to hear an Elmo CD again and again and again. I don't get to hear Elmo singing at all ... which presents frustration of a different sort, but not to the degree nor manner of which the article speaks. So I'm clear on No. 3.

No. 4 is one I could commit from afar. But I don't. I'm not one to fall for the hype when it comes to buying Bubby high-tech or uber-educational toys. In fact, I'm probably guilty of getting him oddball creative crap, er, cuss, that most grandmas may not consider. Witness the Bilibo I'm getting Bubby for his birthday. Actually, I've bought him two Bilibos for his birthday. Yeah, I choose weird gifts. Sorry Bubby, sorry Megan. But at least this grandma's not committing Grandparenting Mistake No. 4.

And No. 5, the mother of all grandmother mistakes, doesn't happen either. I see Bubby rarely enough that I don't feel compelled to break all the rules and try to instill the "There are no rules with Grandma" rule. I just go with the flow of the family and do what Bubby is used to. No sense upsetting the norm just because Grandma's around for a few short days is my thinking. Now if Bubby lived nearby in the mountains -- or when there are local grandchildren added to the family tree -- things may be entirely different. But I'd never admit that, of course.

On the surface it appears that I surely must be the perfect grandparent.

More truthfully, though, I'm just mistake-free by default, by a technicality, by 819 miles in between me and my Bubby.

And I have no doubt at all that I'm screwing up in hundreds of other ways, the ways long-distance grandparents screw up.

Hmmm ... Now that I think of it, that is the list I should be consulting. But I've searched and there doesn't seem to be one anywhere online ... yet!

Coming soon to Grandma's Briefs: 5 Mistakes Even Good Long-Distance Grandparents Make. You won't want to miss it!

Today's question:

What's one mistake you've made in the past six months that you're willing to admit?

My answer: I burned Jim's bacon on Sunday, Father's Day, his Father's Day Breakfast bacon. He likes it crispy and I went a little too far in trying to please him.

White rabbits

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Long, long ago -- okay, about 25 years ago -- I read writing advice from a popular writer about capturing fleeting thoughts that may possibly be the spark of something intriguing, an idea worth writing about or adding to a story or article. Paraphrasing (because I don't really remember the exact quote), the writer advised all novice writers to immediately write down random thoughts, wherever you may be and whatever you may be doing, as those random thoughts are like wild white rabbits that hop away, never to come 'round again, gone in the blink of an eye.

So long, long ago I started writing down all those fleeting "white rabbit" thoughts I had, jotting them on Post-It notes, the backs of old business cards (a great use for the hundreds that remain once you move on to a new position), wacky notepaper, whatever was handy. For the longest time, I filed those thoughts away in a decorative tin I kept on my desk, just in case I was ever in need of inspiration or ideas.

My snippets of white rabbit thoughts eventually filled the tin to overflowing. So I purchased a nifty decorative wooden box that looks rather old-fashioned and unique (even though it came from Hobby Lobby), moved all my thoughts into it and placed it atop my desk. Other than stashing a note here or there at the front of the box -- never having the time to place it correctly into the index-card-divided categories of the type of writing that may come from the idea: picture book, greeting card, general interest, etc. -- I've not looked at my notes in several years.

Until yesterday.

As I sat doing my very important computing for the day, I looked up, saw the box, and decided to peruse those snippets of paper to see how deep those years-old white rabbit thoughts may run. Here are a few examples of what I found within my nifty box o' thoughts:

"People naturally steer clear of others with obvious yet harmless psychological problems (ie Bruce Harper and his inability to be himself and his Elvis impersonations)."

What? I have no idea what that meant. Worse yet, I have absolutely no recollection of anyone named Bruce Harper ... who does Elvis impersonations.

"I've never seen an animal talk with its mouth full until Sadie just did tonight."

Sadie was the coolest cat ever and has been gone now for nearly 10 years. But did it really matter that my prim and proper Siamese once talked with her mouth full?

"I used to be a mountain goat when I was younger, grandma said."                                      

Did I overhear this? Did I imagine this? What is this?

I get what that well-published author was trying to get across to newbies all those years ago, but has she ever gone back and read some of the snippets she so carefully jotted down and honestly found a nugget of a novel, a smidgen of a spark of a successful story or article?

I don't know about her, but from the looks of things deep inside my box o' thoughts and all the inspirational good it's done me, the majority of my white rabbits would have been far better off remaining wild, left to hippity-hop away, never to be seen again.

Today's question:

What is the most important thing you'll do today?

My answer: Refill my dog's estrogen prescription.

The Saturday Post

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Tomorrow is not only Father’s Day, it’s the centennial celebration of Father’s Day!
In honor of dear ol’ dad, here are a few Father’s Day facts, courtesy of the U.S. Census Bureau:

The idea of Father's Day was conceived slightly more than a century ago by Sonora Dodd of Spokane, Wash., while she listened to a Mother's Day sermon in 1909. Dodd wanted a special day to honor her father, William Smart, a widowed Civil War veteran who was left to raise his six children on a farm.
A day in June was chosen for the first Father's Day celebration – 100 years ago, June 19, 1910, proclaimed by Spokane's mayor because it was the month of Smart's birth. The first presidential proclamation honoring fathers was issued in 1966 when President Lyndon Johnson designated the third Sunday in June as Father's Day. Father’s Day has been celebrated annually since 1972 when President Richard Nixon signed the public law that made it permanent.

How many fathers?
67.8 million -- Estimated number of fathers across the nation.

25.8 million -- Number of fathers who were part of married-couple families with children younger than 18 in 2009.

1.7 million -- Number of single fathers in 2009; 15 percent of single parents were men.

  • 8 percent were raising three or more children younger than 18.
  • About 47 percent were divorced, 29 percent were never married, 18 percent were separated, and 5 percent were widowed.

158,000 -- Estimated number of stay-at-home dads in 2009. These married fathers with children younger than 15 have remained out of the labor force for at least one year primarily so they can care for the family while their wives work outside the home. These fathers cared for 290,000 children. Among these stay-at-home dads, 59 percent had two or more children, and 57 percent had an annual family income of $50,000 or more.

24% -- Among the nation's 11.2 million preschoolers whose mothers are employed, the percentage who are regularly cared for by their father during their mother's working hours. This amounted to 2.7 million children.

Time with Daddy
53% and 71% -- Percentages of children younger than 6 who ate breakfast and dinner, respectively, with their father every day in 2006. The corresponding percentages who ate with their mother were 58 percent and 80 percent. (The percentages of children who ate breakfast with their mother or father, respectively, were not significantly different from each another.)

36% -- Percentage of children younger than 6 who had 15 or more outings with their father in the last month, as of 2006.

6 -- Average times children ages 3 to 5 were read to by their fathers in the past week, as of 2006.

66% -- Percentage of children younger than 6 who were praised three or more times a day by their fathers.

 

Happy Father's Day to all dads -- and to all moms playing the role of dad!