The next Grilled Grandma

This week I'm grilling up Sue for the Grilled Grandma feature and I gotta say, this grandma put my "Awwww!" response into high gear. She does so many special things with and for her grandkids that I couldn't help but think, upon reading each reply to my questions, "Awww ... that's so sweet!"

One in particular got to me, actually even made me a bit verklempt. Could be my wacky hormones wreaking havoc (again) or could be just that the sheer sweetness of it that brought tears to my eyes. You decide:

In response to my question "What is one word you hope your grandkids think of when they think of you?," Sue said this:

Love – I’ve given each of them a special name that they’ve heard me call them since they were infants, and each name has the word love in it – I have a “Honey Love”, a “Love Bear”, an “Angel Love”, a “Snuggle Love”, a “Huggy Love” and a “Happy Love”.  I have a special bear for each child and have made a heart button with the individual names that I sewed onto each child’s special bear.  The bears always greet the grandkids on their beds with a welcome note in the bear’s hands when the kids come to visit.

Awwww!

Read more of Sue's awwww-inspiring grilling HERE.

Today's question:

What's the most unusual nickname you've ever given someone ... or that someone has given you?

My answer: When my first nephew, Nicholas, was born, I loved to call him Nicker Bocker Booger Buns. When Megan was born, the same rhythm seemed to work for her, too, and I dubbed her Meggie Beggie Booger Buns.

Reason #37 why distance matters

Bubby LOVED his 1st Birthday cake!Bubby will soon be turning two years old. Very cool, very exciting ... and very frustrating because he's so darn far away.

Although there are still weeks between now and the big day, mere weeks means time is ticking away for those of us wanting to book a ticket to fly in for the festivities. Meaning many of the conversations of late with Bubby's aunts revolve around "Are you going?" Meaning: "Can you afford to pay to fly in for cake and ice cream this year? And will this be the plan every year? Will you forever going forward be able to fork out funds -- and vacation days -- to sing Happy Birthday to our precious Bubby?"

Jim and I will go. Definitely. Each and every year. Probably. But Andrea and Brianna may not be able to fly to the desert to celebrate Bubby's birthday each and every year. Especially once they're entrenched in their own families -- or even long-term relationships -- because then there's the question of "Does the whole family go?"

Yes, I know that not all families gather 'round for each and every birthday. But my family likes to, as much as possible.

And it's not as if Megan's planning some huge shebang for Bubby, like the festivities for his first birthday. And she clearly understands that cost is a major hindrance to attending even the smallest of affairs. She's attached no obligation, no hard feelings for those who can't make it.

But the thing is, we all want to make it. We all want to celebrate the major milestones of Bubby's life. But all the cuss miles between us make that difficult. And frustrating. And reason to lament, once again, that Megan and Preston live in the desert while the rest of us live in the mountains.

Guess it's easier -- and more reasonable -- to lament that than to lament that we've not yet won Powerball or Publishers Clearing House (or a ridiculously lucrative book contract), which would make the miles between us irrelevant. For if we were rich, we wouldn't have to consider dollars. Or days off work.

Or distance.

Today's question:

If money were no consideration, to where would you most want to book a plane ticket?

Photo replay

Happy Mother's Day to my pretty mama and all you other mothers!

Today's question:

How many Mother's Day cards did you buy this year?

My answer: Four -- for my mom, Jim's mom, my step-mom (although she doesn't go by that title) and my Bubby-Mama daughter.

Failure analysis

I recently received in the mail an unsolicited copy of "Raising Happiness: 10 Simple Steps For More Joyful Kids And Happier Parents" by Christine Carter, Ph.D. The accompanying form letter was addressed "Dear Blogger." Such letters tucked inside of complimentary copies of books are a subtle request for a review. Which is okay ... but this is not a review.

I will eventually review Ms. Carter's book -- or at least use it for blog fodder and mention it kindly. But I've not yet been able to focus on the book innards because I've been entranced by one of the quotes on the book jacket and can't seem to move my mind and heart forward. Which is weird. And something I can't really explain. So I'm spewing forth here in hopes of expunging whatever it is that has me so emotionally invested in a silly book jacket quote.

Thing is, it's not so silly. Here's the quote, or at least the part that caught my attention: "The learning curve for all parents is in failure analysis -- where and how we went off course -- and how we can do better the next go-round." This said by Michael Riera, Ph.D. and author of "Field Guide to the American Teenager" and "Right from Wrong."

I never knew there was a technical term for figuring out how we screwed up, at least a term used for our parenting screw-ups. But "failure analysis" it must be; I guess I just failed to read the right books that would have provided me that term earlier in the parenting process. Yet I'm having a rough time wrapping my head around that term. It's so cold, so technical, so corporate and so much feels like a term used to describe a failed rocket launching in which everyone aboard perished.

I have to admit that it scares me to look back on my parenting and analyze where I failed. Overall I'm a success -- my girls are grown, living on their own, paying their own bills, and semi-sorta-kinda succeeding in their relationships -- but I know I've failed in many, many ways. I never deluded myself into thinking otherwise. In fact, I've felt like a failure more often than a success. But isn't that how all parents feel: like they certainly could have done better? We give it our all but are pretty darn sure that somewhere, somehow we could have done just a little bit more, been at least a smidgen better.

So I don't know ... I'm hesitant to crack the cover of "Raising Happiness" because it'll likely point out all the ways I really, truly failed to raise happy girls. And it just might be in the areas in which I thought I did okay.

I guess it comes down to this: I'm not ready to perform failure analysis on my parenting skills. My little ones so recently flew the nest that I think I need to take a bit of a break before dissecting and analyzing.

Especially because, despite the second half of that quote, the part about "how we can do better the next go-round," there is no next go-round. I don't get another chance. What's done is done and I definitely will not be throwing out my first set of kids as if they were the cussed up first waffles that didn't form correctly and now I can cook up a batch that comes out better.

Or is that what grandchildren are supposed to be? The second batch?

I guess I should start reading "Raising Happiness" sooner rather than later, just in case. Because Bubby just may be my "next go-round."

And I sure don't want to dread the failure analysis with my grandchildren to the degree that I am with my kids.

*Stay tuned for an eventual review of "Raising Happiness" by Christine Carter.

Today's question:

Forget the "failure analysis," what's one really good/successful thing you've done in your life?

My answer: I've remained an optimist.

Skype time

Bubby left yesterday -- with Daddy alone, no Mommy! -- to visit his grandma and grandpa on the plains. That, of course, required a quick Skype session with this grandma and grandpa before he left.

Here's how it went:

Hey, Bub! Yay, It's Grandma and Grandpa! Time to show them how goofy I can be. And let them know I've got ALL my teeth now! Look how quickly I can shake my head ... back and forth over and over! That's right ... I'm a silly one! But I can smile sweet, too. And listen really well. And look: I have two feet now! I can meow back at Isabel when you hold her to the camera. Meows, of course, must be followed by fish sounds. Did I mention all my teeth? This is the bedtime song I sing with Mommy: Love, love, love, love. I like to sway back and forth when we sing it. It just makes me want to love, love Mommy! Time to go! Here's a kiss! Kissing the monitor is so silly!

Saying buh-bye is always a little sad.

Today's question (from my trivia calendar, but fitting):

In the world of high-tech messages, you no doubt know what spam is; but how about spim and spit?

The answer: I'll tell you after a few comments; just curious if anyone knows. I didn't.

Update on 2010-05-06 15:53 by Lisa Carpenter

ANSWER TO THE QUESTION: After seeing that most folks are as in the dark about spim and spit as I was, here's the answer. Spim is spam sent through instant messaging and spit is spam sent through Internet telephone (ie Skype). There ya have it -- you've all learned your one new thing for the day!