20 Thanksgiving jokes to share with kids

Kids—and some grown-ups, too—love corny jokes. Here are 20 to share during the Thanksgiving holiday.

Which side of the turkey has the most feathers?

The outside.

Why was the turkey the drummer in the band?

Because he had the drumsticks.

If the Pilgrims were alive today, what would they be most famous for?

Their age.

What’s the best thing to put into pumpkin pie?

Your teeth.

What’s the best dance to do on Thanksgiving?

The turkey trot.

Why did the Pilgrims sail from England to America?

Because they missed their plane.

What kind of music did Pilgrims listen to?

Plymouth Rock.

What smells the best at a Thanksgiving dinner?

Your nose.

Why do turkeys always go, “gobble, gobble”?

Because they never learned good table manners.

Who isn't hungry at Thanksgiving?

The turkey because he’s already stuffed.

Can a turkey jump higher than the Empire State Building?

Yes, because a building can’t jump at all.

When the Pilgrims landed, where did they stand?

On their feet.

How many cranberries grow on a bush?

All of them.

What always comes at the end of Thanksgiving?

The letter “g”.

What’s the key to a great Thanksgiving dinner?

The tur-key.

Where does Christmas come before Thanksgiving?

In the dictionary.

Why did pilgrims’ pants always fall down?

Because they wore their belt buckle on their hat.

What do turkeys and teddy bears have in common?

They both have stuffing.

Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

Harry.

Harry who?

Harry up, I’m hungry!

Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

Gladys.

Gladys who?

Gladys Thanksgiving. Aren’t you?

Today's question:

What corny joke lovers will you dine with this Thanksgiving?

Grandparenting as a second chance: 15 things I'd do this time around

Some grandmas and grandpas consider being a grandparent their second chance at parenting, their opportunity to do things right, do things forgotten.

Not me. I don't see my time as Gramma being a do-over for my time as Mom. I've already had the headache, hassle, heartache of being a parent. I'm happy now to enjoy my time with my grandchildren without feeling the need to make good on all the things I neglected, all the ways I screwed up with my children. For one thing, there's no way to make up for what was—with those kids or with the kids of those kids.

If it were, though, if being a grandparent really did provide an opportunity for do-overs, here are a few things I'd do better the second time around:

• Go on more family bike rides.

• Complete a doll house for the girls. Boys, too, if they wanted one.

• Be more adamant about flossing.

• Allow them to order dessert now and then when dining out. Or an appetizer, instead of saying the budget's too tight for either.

• Teach them to sew, regardless of their gender.

• Not allow them to quit musical instruction, be it band, choir, guitar lessons.

• Not allow them to quit sports mid-season, either.

• On the other hand, I'd be more adamant about them quitting bad relationships sooner.

• Take them camping as teens, even if they didn't want to go. Once they got out in the boonies, they'd surely appreciate the s'mores, stories, and sky of endless stars regardless of their protests from home.

• Go on more picnics. And Sunday drives, with no particular destination, agenda, goal.

• Buy them each a camera at a younger age. (A far easier consideration now that the cost of developing photos is no longer a factor.)

• Allow more slumber parties. Though not co-ed, as seems currently in fashion.

• Sing more.

• Hug more.

• Remember more.

Today's question:

What would you do differently if given parenting do-overs?

One-word Wednesday: Craving

Bubby — October 22, 2012

Today's question:

What are you craving today?

It's official: I'm a cool grandparent

As a teen, I pored over personality quizzes that might better tell me who I was and what I wanted—those ever-so-important things that I simply could not figure out for myself. If I circled the right number of As or Bs or ALL OF THE ABOVEs, the super-scientific methodology would make me feel good about myself while directing me to the places in need of improvement. Or so I hoped.

As a young wife and mother, I continued to want—no, need—validation through personality and relationship quizzes offered in magazines ranging from Redbook to Parents. In between diapering, bathing, feeding and surviving, I took quizzes any time I came across them. I even bought books—one a hardcover, if you can believe it!—of quizzes to help me figure out me, myself, and I.

COOL GRANDMAS LET GRANDSONS LICK THE BOWLApparently I've not outgrown the need for quiz-based validation, not even as a grandma. For when I saw that friend and fellow grandma Susan posted on her Grandparents.About.com website a What's Your Grandparenting Style quiz, I couldn't click my way there quickly enough.

I'm now older and a wee bit wiser than the quiz-taking adolescent or young mother I once was. So I kept my enthusiasm in check, resolved to remain blasé about what I might find and what the quiz may reveal. I skeptically assumed the quiz would be three or four questions followed by a designation along the lines of "You are the best kind of grandma ever, the kind who loves your grandbaby sweetie bugs to death and they love you totally and completely in return."Such a generic result would be not only a cop-out but a disappointment.

I was happy to see—and should have known to begin with—that Susan was better than that. She offered up a fairly in-depth questionaire. Sure, it wasn't a Myers-Brigg type psychological test by any stretch of the imagination. Questions, though, were many and ran the gamut from one's gifting style to what kind of grandma attire she might wear on to how disciplinary action may be taken on a trash-can-toppling grandson.

COOL GRANDMAS MAKE UP TRAMPOLINE GAMESI thoughtfully considered each question, then went with my gut in answering, just as any long-time personality quiz-taker has learned provides the most accurate results. (No more adolescent manipulation of the outcome by guessing which answers provide desired results rather than the reality.) Once I made it through the fourteen questions, each with six possible answers, I braced myself for the outcome, hoping for confirmation that I'm doing the right thing as a grandma while also providing a few unexpected revelations on where I rock and where I need to roll up my sleeves and get to work.

Now, I don't want to incite the crowd, create jealousy where none should be, so I'm a tad reluctant to share my results. In my quest to be a transparent blogger, though, I must honestly and completely reveal the outcome. On one hand, it's what I expected. On the other hand...well... Oh, hell, I cannot lie. It's what I expected. Sort of. After decades of self-test taking, how could I not know how this one might turn out.

Still, it made me smile. For this, my friends, is the official word on my grandparenting style:

What's Your Grandparenting Style?

You're a Cool Grandparent!

You are not the stereotypical grandparent. For one thing, you're totally at ease with technology. You're likely to be young in years, but you are definitely young at heart. You love movies, music, video games and other diversions that you can share with your grandchildren once they get old enough. You're not really into baking, knitting or gardening, and you're not a great fan of family history. You're more interested in living in the here and now, and your grandchildren will appreciate that.

Did they hit it on the head or what?

Sure, they missed on the baking, for I do indeed love to bake. And gardening, well, I'm trying and will get it one of these years, for sure. But I'll just figure gardening—and the need to become a more avid fan of my freaky family history—as the places needing improvement I hoped would be pointed out to me.

Despite those minor misses, confirmation and validation came in spades. Or at least came in the first three sentences of my results. For proof, check out my About page here on my blog. A quick scan of it and you'll see that the Granparent.About.com quiz is no slouch. It turned out to be fairly accurate. At least in my case.

What about in yours? Take the quiz for yourself and see. I hope you'll come back here afterward and report your grandparenting style. I promise not to be jealous.

For I'm cool like that. And I have the quiz results to prove it.

Today's question:

When did you last take a quiz in a magazine or online?

Giving thanks: Taco Bell on Sundays and the GRAND Social link party

As it's the month for giving thanks, I'd like to preface this week's GRAND Social link party with this:

I'm thankful for so many things—including cute videos of kids and the GRAND Social. I'm especially thankful you've joined me today for both.

How it works:

• All grandparent bloggers are invited to add a link. You don't have to blog specifically about grandparenting, but you must be a grandparent who blogs.

• Posts shared can be an old one or a recent one, your choice. I like to link up to older posts that current readers likely haven't seen.

• To link up, copy the direct link to the specific post you want to share, not the link to your blog's home page. Then click the blue "Click here to enter" text below and follow the directions to add your post to the list.

• You can add up to three posts, but no duplicates, please, and none you have promoted on a previous GRAND Social linky.

• No contests, giveaways, or Etsy sites.

• Adding a mention at the bottom of your linked posts, such as This post has been linked to the GRAND Social linky, is appreciated. Or, you can post the GRAND Social button using the following code:

<a href="/" target="_blank"><img src="http://grandmasbriefs.squarespace.com/storage/GRANDsocialbutton.jpg " alt="Grandma’sBriefs.com" width="125" height="125" /></a>

• The GRAND Social linky is open for new posts through Wednesday evening, so please come back to see those added after your first visit.

• Looking for another grandparent linky? Be sure to visit Connie's Grandparent's Say It Saturday Link Party each Saturday (open to links through Monday nights).

• If you're not a blogger, you have the pleasure of being a reader. All bloggers who link up would be honored to have you click, visit, read and comment.
  

READERS and PARTICIPATING BLOGGERS: Please visit the posts others have linked to by clicking on the thumbnail photos. Comments are always appreciated by the bloggers whose links you visit, even if it's simply "Hey, stopping by from GRAND Social."

Thank you for participating in the GRAND Social grandparent linky!