My addiction: The first step

They say the first step in overcoming an addiction is admitting you have a problem.

Well, I have a problem.

I'm addicted to books.

Here's proof—my rows upon rows, shelves upon shelves of books:

No, those aren't duplicates. I do indeed have that many books, that many bookcases and hiding places.

And no, I've not read them all. Most, but not all. I'm not addicted to reading them, just accumulating them.

I have no idea what the second step is, but I have a feeling it's not gonna be easy.

Today's question:

What is your addiction?

The curse takes effect — let the gloating begin

For centuries, or so I hear, mothers have placed upon the heads of their daughters The Curse. I'm talking about the doom and damnation of sorts that mothers pass along to their daughters, swearing that once they have children of their own, they will surely get their due for all the drama, trauma and heartache they once put their mothers through.

The Curse is such a cliché.

Well shiver me timbers and consider me cliché, for I've uttered The Curse many a time—and I now gloat about seeing it in action.

When my girls were young, we had a trampoline. A big, round, bouncy gateway to injury and potential paralysis. My family had a trampoline when I was a kid and it was such fun that my youngest sister tried to convince me I simply had to provide similar fun for my daughters, despite the dangers. In 1992, I succumbed to her peer pressure. We got a trampoline. Despite the dangers.

As the dangers of a trampoline were many and my imagination expounded upon all of them, always and in all ways, I spent a lot of my time cringing and wringing my hands while my daughters jumped with joy. They did seats, stomachs, knees, seat and stomach wars, and—ohmyohmy!—front flips, back flips, and swan dives. I trembled with fear and anxiety each time they climbed up on the frame, removed their shoes, and proceeded to jump.

My fear and anxiety multiplied each time the girls invited friends over to jump. It was assuaged a bit—at least the fear Jim and I would be sued by parents of kiddos who had jumped right over the edge and onto their necks, leaving them paralyzed for life—by my requirement that every single child who did not belong to me have a permission slip signed by a parent before they even considered stepping foot on the mat. My daughters often whined and complained about having to hand out the slips to friends they invited over, to which I recited the dangers of the <cuss> thing and how kind and awesome of me it was to even allow such a death trap on my property and that they darn well better appreciate that and abide by my one simple rule regarding permission slips if they want to ever jump again themselves, much less with friends.

Yes, I was a paranoid parent. Allowing my daughters—and their friends—to jump on the trampoline took every ounce of restraint I had as well as never-ending lectures to myself on the importance of letting kids be kids. But I did it. I survived it. And so did they—despite my fears, my worries, my visions of daughters in wheelchairs or worse simply because I allowed my kids to be kids.

Fast forward to this past weekend.

Megan, Preston, and my grandsons moved into a new house over the weekend. They originally considered finding a rental that included a swimming pool (a pretty common commodity in their part of the desert) which worried me like mad thinking of all the ways such a feature could be fatal for Bubby and Baby Mac. Luckily Megan and Preston settled on a place that had no pool. Instead, the back yard features a full-size trampoline built into the ground.

Naturally the idea of the trampoline worries me nearly as much as a swimming pool. At this point I'm not too concerned about whether Megan requires permission slips for Bubby's friends, I'm concerned about Bubby himself. (Thankfully Baby Mac is not yet old enough to be on the trampoline. Or he sure as heck better not be allowed on it yet. Note to self: Ask Megan about that.)

Turns out I don't need to be all that concerned about Bubby's safety. Because despite all the times Megan, as a pre-teen and teen, complained—in unison with her sisters, of course—and told me to "calm down" or "stop freaking out" when my trampoline paranoia reached fever pitch, she finally gets it. How do I know? Because Saturday, just after she and Preston first introduced Bubby to the trampoline (and attempted a few tricks of their own as examples), Megan called me to say: "I can't believe you let us do the things we did on the trampoline, Mom."

In her voice and between the lines, the worry, fear, concern, trepidation, and unspoken WTF did we get ourselves into? was unmistakable. Call me mean but it was music to my ears.

The Curse had finally gone into effect.

And I'm not one bit ashamed to admit that so has the gloating.

I suppose tempering the gloating would be the proper tack at this point, though, so as to not tempt fate. For I'm headed to the desert later this week to babysit Bubby and Baby Mac while Megan and Preston attend a conference, and the request has been made that I help Bubby learn a thing or two on the trampoline while Mom and Dad are away.

I'm thinking I might need to write up a permission slip for Megan and Preston to sign before they hit the road and leave me in charge of Bubby's trampoline use. Just in case. I've never heard of any guarantee that, once enacted, The Curse won't backfire.

Today's question:

Describe ways you've seen The Curse in effect—whether it was placed by you or upon you.

In search of the grandmother 'hood

The following words and their definitions are easily found in any dictionary:

Motherhood: 1. The state of being a mother. 2. The qualities of a mother. 3. Mothers considered as a group. 

Sisterhood: 1. The state or relationship of being a sister or sisters. 2. The quality of being sisterly. 3. A society, especially a religious society, of women. 4. Association or unification of women in a common cause. 

Fatherhood: 1. The state of being a father. 2. The qualities of a father. 3. Fathers considered as a group. 

Brotherhood: 1. The state or relationship of being brothers. 2. Fellowship. 3. An association of men, such as a fraternity or union, united for common purposes. 4. All the members of a profession or trade. 

Neighborhood: 1. A district or area with distinctive characteristics. 2. The people who live near one another or in a particular district or area. 3. The surrounding area; vicinity.

Alas, there is no grandmotherhood, though. At least not as a word in the dictionary. I've looked...several times, in several different versions. Not even in the Urban Dictionary.

Let there be no doubt, though, that the concept of grandmotherhood does indeed exist. It's evidenced by the awesome group of grandmothers and others who gather here on Grandma's Briefs. Who gather and comment and support one another on any grandma blog, any grandparent blog, any grandparent site, on Facebook, on Twitter and beyond. And who gather face to face, be it at one another's kitchen tables, in the shared pews of churches, at a favorite dining—or drinking—spot for "grandmas night out." A network equally as strong as brotherhoods, sisterhoods, and other 'hoods deserves to be equally named.

When obnoxious and obscure terms such as bromance, clickjacking, and the ever-so-freakin'-annoying nom nom that makes me throw up a little in my mouth every time I read it make their way into the dictionary, I don't understand why grandmotherhood—grandmothers considered as a group—is absent. It's not obnoxious. It's not obscure. And it doesn't, I daresay, cause anyone to throw up in their mouth even just the eensiest of bits when considered. Grandmotherhood is a true and tangible state that should be recognized, yet isn't.

It's time to change that. I propose we join together to ask where's the 'hood? At least in name. In every other way we know exactly where the 'hood is: It's in our online connections, our networking with like-minded grandmothers. It's evident in the places where our heartstrings are plucked upon hearing the plight—or the joy—of fellow grandparents we've never even met, likely never will. It's unmistakeable in our shared hugs, virtual and otherwise. It's in the stories we tell one another, the photos we share, the genuine concern and care for others who have been there, who are there right alongside us. It's for real, and the lack of a word to define the concept belittles the state we're in, the connection we have.

We are a 'hood. We are the grandmotherhood.

I want us to be recognized.

I want us to be heard.

I want us to have a word.

Photo: stock.xchng

Today's fill-in-the-blank:

I think the word(s) _________ should be struck from the dictionary for good.

Photo replay: Run, Andie, run

My youngest daughter, Andrea, set a personal record in her most recent five-mile run, yesterday's Frosty's Frozen 5 & 10 in Denver. With a final time of 42.32, she broke the 9-minute-mile barrier and averaged 8.5-minute miles. Woo-hoo!

Congratulations to Andie, not only for the PR but for finishing 171st out of 714 overall and 17 out of 82 in her division. (Plus, major props for picture-perfect posing for mom mere moments after crossing the finish line!)

Today's question:

If you could set a personal record in anything—sports-related or not—what would you like your record to be?

The Saturday Post: Movie mash-up double feature edition

I love a good movie-clip mash up, and this week I was treated to two of the best I've seen in quite some time.

The first came to me by way of VSL and is movie clips made into song—a song we all know and (maybe) love...and will be humming the rest of the day.

(Hello from ant1mat3rie on Vimeo.)

The second was sent to me by my friend Kate, who kindly posted it on my Facebook wall. It's a scary one and, as noted with her original post, should be watched with the lights ON. (If you don't like scary movies, scroll back up and watch "Hello" again instead. Seriously.)

Both very well done indeed!

Enjoy your Saturday...and your "Hello" earworm!