Musing elsewhere: Thoughts on my daughter's miscarriage (PurpleClover.com)

Thoughts on my daughter's miscarriage

Published October 18, 2015 on PurpleClover.com

My daughter lost her baby last week. A miscarriage in the first trimester.

Coming from an abundantly fertile family, it's hard to wrap my head around that. My mom had seven children. Three of my sisters had several children, and a number of those kids had kids. I had three children myself, and my middle child had three children, too.

All of us had no problem. Yet it's a problem for my oldest child, Brianna.

"Problem" doesn't come close to accurately describing the fertility challenge for my daughter. A dead baby is far more than a problem. It's a painful, traumatic, inexplicable loss.

My 33-year-old daughter, who learned just this past year that her chances for conceiving and delivering a child are sadly...

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Decking the halls: Like mother, like daughters

I've got my tree up and the stockings hung by the chimney with care:

As does my oldest daughter, Brianna:

As does my middle daughter, Megan:

As for my youngest daughter, Andrea, I've yet to see what she's done. No rush though: Andie always has and always will do things in her own time, in her own way. That's the magic of Andie.

That said, I have no doubt Andie will have her tree up and photos sent long before I finish the rest of the holiday decorating I've yet to do. But at least my tree is done. That's what I keep telling myself...despite the numerous Santas, holiday village, nativity scene figures, candles for the windows and more in boxes scattered around the house, just waiting to be placed (and just out of frame of my photo above!).

Like I said, at least my tree is done ... At least my tree is done ... At least my tree is done ... At least my tree is done ...

Today's question:

What holiday decorating have you completed...and what do you have left to do?

Serendipity

Brianna & Andrea, ready for Hugo in 3D."Our brightest blazes of gladness," Samuel Johnson once said, "are commonly kindled by unexpected sparks." I learned the truth of that this past Sunday.

Thanksgiving weekend was pleasant all the way around, but my favorite day of the long holiday wasn't the top-billed, highly planned for Thanksgiving Day. Nor was it the day after...or Saturday. It turned out to be Sunday. Unexpectedly. Unintentionally.

My youngest daughter, Andrea, was unable to join us for the Thanksgiving Day gathering because she had to work. We had talked about her possibly making the trek from Denver to home at some point over the long weekend if her schedule allowed, but there were no definite plans, not even as late as Saturday morning.

Then Sunday worked out for her, opened itself up for a visit. She headed home, Brianna headed over from her place, and Jim and I were fortunate to have two of our three daughters with us for the afternoon. And two out of three ain't bad at all.

We played the ABBA You Can Dance video game on the Wii. Andrea proved to be the true dancing queen, Brianna was the karaoke queen, I was the queen of busting moves to my own groove instead of those intended. And Jim...well, he just laughed while watching the rest of us, far too cool to grace us with ABBA moves of his own.

We ate the last of the Thanksgiving turkey and potatoes and more, not at the table in proper family dining fashion, but in front of the TV. We—okay, they—watched and talked about football. We ate pie. We conducted a mini chocolate taste-testing of Lindt Excellence chocolate bars for my Holiday Guide.

And we went to see Hugo, the 3D movie directed by Martin Scorsese, produced by Johnny Depp, and crowned with an A+ rating by Roger Ebert. That's all we knew beforehand, as the trailer doesn't come close (thankfully) to truly revealing the tale...so we were all delightfully surprised by how magical, moving, and memorable Hugo turned out to be.

Just like our unplanned, unexpected day turned out to be: delightful, surprising, magical, moving, memorable.

Today I bask in that blaze of gladness, sparked by pure serendipity.

Today's question:

What leftovers from Thanksgiving still remain in your refrigerator?

Photo replay: My baby

My baby...at 29.

Brianna — August 23, 2011

Today's fill in the blank:

One of the best gifts I've given was ________________.

29 years ago today

Twenty-nine years ago today, Jim and I had our first baby girl. We were just kids ourselves—I was 18, he was 21—and were ill equipped to be parents, to say the very least. But we were determined to figure it out and do right by our precious pink bundle we named Brianna.

We've messed up many times along the parenting path—sometimes egregiously so—and poor Nonner bore the brunt of many of those messes by virtue (or misfortune) of being our first. Yet somehow Jim and I did quite a bit right, too, it seems, as our sweet 6-pound, 10-ounce baby doll has grown into one of the most bright, beautiful, kind-hearted, supportive, giving, and forgiving women I know. Plus, she makes the very best cupcakes ever! (I kid you not...just take a look HERE.)

Now, in honor of her special day, I offer a musical presentation for Aunt B from Bubby, Baby Mac and their mama, just because I can:

Happy 29th birthday, Brianna! I am so thankful for you and for all you have taught me, not only about parenting but about myself, too! I love you beyond words!

Today's question:

What do you remember about your 29th birthday, the last one before the big 3-0?