28 Valentine's Day jokes for kids

With just a little more than two weeks before Valentine's Day, I'd say it's time to memorize some corny Valentine's Day jokes to share with the grandkids. Or the big kids. Or to chuckle over all on your own.

Let the giggling — and groaning — begin...

Why is Valentine's Day the best day for a celebration?

Because you can party hearty.

How can you tell the calendar is popular?

It always has a lot of dates.

What does a vampire call his sweetheart?

His ghoul-friend.

What did one oar say to the other oar?

How about a little row-mance?

What did the elephant say to his girlfriend?

I love you a ton!

Where do burgers take their Valentine’s Day dates to dance?

To the meatball.

What did the Valentine’s Day card say to the stamp?

Stick with me and you'll go places.

What did the stamp say to the envelope on Valentine's Day?

I'm stuck on you.

What do you call romance in tropical fish tank?

Guppy love.

Why do skunks celebrate Valentine’s Day?

Because they’re scent-imental.

What do you call two birds in love?

Tweethearts.

Why did the boy put clothes on the valentines he was sending?

Because they needed to be ad-dressed.

What do you call a super small valentine?

A valen-tiny.

Did Adam and Eve ever have a date?

No, but they had an apple.

What did the light bulb say to the switch?

You turn me on.

What kind of flower is the worst flower to give — or get — on Valentine's Day?

Cauliflower.

What do farmers give their wives on Valentine's Day?

Hog and kisses.

What do caveman give their wives on Valentine's Day?

Ughs and kisses.

What did the girl bee say to the boy bee on Valentine's Day?

I love bee-ing with you, Honey.

What did the boy octopus say to the girl octopus?

Can I hold your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand?

What did the girl cat say to the boy cat on Valentine's Day?

You're purrr-fect for me.

What did the chocolate syrup say to the ice cream?

I'm sweet on you.

What did the paper clip say to the magnet?

I'm so attracted to you.

What did the French chef give his wife for Valentine's Day?

A hug and a quiche.

What did the boy sheep say to the girl sheep on Valentine's Day?

I love ewe.

What did the girl sheep say to the boy sheep on Valentine’s Day?

I love you baaaaaaack.

Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

Sherwood.

Sherwood who?

Sherwood like to be your valentine.

Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

Howard.

Howard who?

Howard you like me to stop telling these silly Valentine’s Day jokes?

Today's fill-in-the-blank:

One of my favorite Valentine's Day memories is when ____________.