My big sister Becky (Rebecca to many) and her husband, Rick, visited me on May 28 ... despite minimal Covid restrictions in place at the time. We all felt safe about it; they’re pretty much part of our “pod.”

Becky brought me some homemade cookies that had relatively recently become a favorite of her kids and grandkids. She also brought me a jar of yeast. I’ve been baking bread nearly every single week for years, and the Covid craziness made it impossible to find yeast. But Becky found just what I needed—after a hilarious first purchase the week before that turned out to be some sort of nutritional yeast and not for baking, which we laughed pretty hard about.

The cookies were amazing, and I asked for the recipe. She immediately scrolled through her phone and sent me a link to it. I chuckled about that because she gave it so willingly, which was funny in comparison to the very first time I requested one of her recipes, decades ago. She had made a pan of lasagna for me and Jim back then and I asked if she’d share the recipe. Days later she gave me the recipe written on notepaper (which I still have). As she handed it to me, she said she purposely left out one ingredient so mine wouldn’t be as good as hers. So Becky! I’d think about that EVERY TIME I’d get a recipe from her and wonder how my dish might turn out.

Becky also brought treats for crazy Callie that day in May and love and attention for Abby (who never gets enough). I sent her the picture here afterward, calling her the Animal Whisperer.

I never saw Becky again. That’s the last picture I’ll ever have of her. My crazy big sister who laughed hard, loved harder, and hugged the hardest and longest of anyone I know passed away Monday morning. She never woke that morning. We never got to say goodbye. Thank God we said “I love you” every single time we talked or texted. She never doubted my feelings for her; I never doubted hers for me.

I’ve wanted to call or text Becky several times the past few days to tell her how freakin’ weird this all feels. She’d likely say, “I know, Lisa!! Listen to this!!” Then she’d enthusiastically launch into a story about some bizarre thing that recently happened to her, something with a wacky twist that would leave us laughing and shaking our heads.

Instead, I’m left with a broken heart and having to wrap my head around a world that no longer has my big sister in it. So. Hard. To. Believe.

Rest In Peace, dear Becky. Your demons are gone, and you’ve found the answers you so desperately sought. I love you so, so much, now and forever. 💕