47 Halloween jokes to make kids howl

Time again for another round of holiday jokes. This time, it's horrific Halloween howlers to share with the kids — or easily, cheesily amused adults.

Why did the vampire need mouthwash?

Because he had bat breath

What is a mummy’s favorite type of music?

Wrap

When does a skeleton laugh?

When something tickles his funny bone

What do goblins and ghosts drink when they're hot and thirsty on Halloween?

Ghoul-aid

What's a monster's favorite bean?

A human bean

Why are vampires tough to get along with?

Because they can be a pain in the neck

Where do ghosts like to dance?

Anywhere where they can boo-gie

Why didn't the skeleton dance at the party?

He had no body to dance with

Where do ghosts go when they're sick?

To the witch doctor

Why didn't the mummy have any friends?

Because he was too wrapped up in himself

What position does a ghost play in soccer?

Ghoulie

What are a ghost's favorite pants?

Boo jeans

What instrument do skeletons play?

Trom-bone

Why is a ghost such a messy eater?

Because he is always a goblin

What do you call a goblin who gets too close to a bonfire?

A toasty ghosty

What was the favorite game at the ghosts' birthday party?

Hide and shriek

What do the birds sing on Halloween?

Trick or tweet

What are ghosts' favorite kind of streets?

Dead ends

What do you call a haunted chicken?

A poultry-geist

Why don't bats live alone?

They like to hang out with their friends

What do ghosts eat for breakfast?

Boo-berries

What's it like to be kissed by a vampire?

It's a pain in the neck

When is it bad luck to meet a black cat?

When you’re a mouse

What food do vampires hate?

Steak

How do you fix a broken Jack-o-lantern?

With a pumpkin patch

Why are cemeteries loud?

Because of all the coffin

Why did the vampire go to the doctor?

To ask about his coffin

Why did the vampire flunk art class?

Because he could only draw blood

What can't you give the headless horseman?

A headache

Where should a 500-pound monster go?

On a diet

What's a ghost’s favorite dessert?

Boo-berry pie

What's a monster’s favorite desert?

I-scream

What type of dog does every vampire have?

Bloodhound

What did the skeleton order for dinner?

Spare ribs

What do you call a skeleton who won't work?

Lazy bones

Why do witches ride brooms?

Vacuum cleaners get stuck at the end of the cord

What do you call a witch's garage?

A broom closet

What do you call two witches living together?

Broommates

What is a witch's favorite subject in school?

Spelling

Why won't skeletons go see scary movies?

They don't have the guts

Who are some of the werewolves cousins?

The whatwolves, the whowolves and the whenwolves

Why didn't the zombie go to school?

He felt rotten

Why did the cyclops stop teaching?

Because he only had one pupil

Where do vampires keep their money?

The blood bank

What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A neck-tarine

How did the ghost say goodbye to the vampire?

So long, sucker

What did the grandma ghost say to the grandson ghost?

You are the most booooooooo-tiful thing I have ever seen!

Today's question:

When did you last dress up for Halloween (and what were you)?