Christmas is over and it was a pretty good one. I spent time with many loved ones -- although not Bubby and his family, unfortunately. And I received some great gifts.

But I didn't get a gift I really, really wanted.

I didn't receive peace.

I'm serious.

Although "Peace on Earth" -- that staple sentiment of greeting cards -- is a noble request and something we all surely need, that's not the kind of peace I'm talking about.

I'm talking about peace within my family and within myself.

I come from a large family with large problems and large addictions and afflictions on the part of many. And it makes for a very unpeaceful feeling. Which sucks. But until several siblings overcome their overwhelming inner demons and the rest of us overcome the chips that have firmly attached themselves to our shoulders because of those demons, peace won't be knocking on our doors anytime soon.

But more so than the peace within the family, I wanted to magically receive peace within myself, peace that has nothing to do with my extended family.

But that didn't happen either.

To be honest, I don't really know why I'm so NOT at peace, why I'm searching for it in the first place. Looking at the pictures from the past week and taking stock of the wonderful folks I have around me, the blessings I have in my life, my abundant riches not related to money, I shouldn't be fretting over anything.

But there's this unrest, this uneasy, this unPEACEFUL feeling I can't shake.

Is it just a natural effect of the unstable times in which we live? Are others feeling this way? Is inner peace an unattainable goal?

Does it really matter anyway?

Yeah, it does matter. But luckily, there's always next year. And next year I'll be putting "PEACE" in big fancy letters at the very top of my Christmas list.

In the meantime, I'll start working on creating it myself, for myself, just in case Santa doesn't deliver once again.

And as for peace within my family, my siblings should probably get started on finding a little peace within themselves, too, so it can spread throughout the family.

And in case they don't, I've already started pricing boulder-sized lumps of coal for their stockings for next Christmas.