Pomp and certain circumstances

In recognition of graduation season, here are 9 reasons I'm glad I don't have a teen graduating from high school.

1. Been there, done that. Three times over.

2. The cost: senior pictures, announcements, class rings, yearbooks, caps and gowns, and more.

3. Aforementioned senior pictures. Not so sure how it goes with boys, but with girls there's the trauma, the drama of portraits. (Tho I must admit my girlies' senior photos were lovely ... and they kept their bodies appropriately covered, unlike some senior portraits I've seen of late.)

4. The cost, part two: graduation gifts. No cars for my kids, but there were computers for college.

5. Gah! College! Graduation from high school means college plans or at least considerations. So, so, SO glad to be done with college app fees, FAFSAs, food plans, and travel to and fro.

6. Senior prom. Enough said. If you've ever gone to one — or had a child go to one — you know what I mean.

7. Graduation night parties. Fear and trembling on the part of parents with kids who think the flip of a tassel has made them an adult and they're ready to party like one. (Kids who don't realize that adults typically party hearty in a less hearty — and more safe — manner. Usually.)

8. The summer before college. Again, fear and trembling on the part of parents with kids who think they're adults ... except when it comes to picking up their room, saving money, packing all the right stuff for college, and being considerate of parents who still expect them to come home before the crack of dawn (or at least call if they're not).

9. The next chapter: The empty nest. It's a tough one to get used to. Been there, done that, too. Am now finally used to it. And am so glad I don't ever have to go through the transition again.

All kidding aside, to those who do have lovelies marking the end of their high-school careers this graduation season, I sincerely say Congratulations! (And good luck!)

Photo: stock.xchng

Today's question:

What is one of the more valuable lessons you learned from high school?

Top smiles of 2010

The end of a year begs for lists, so despite sharing a list with you yesterday, I'm here with another today. This time it's ... 

My top 9 smile-inducers of 2010

Bubby. Always. In all ways!

Jim's support, with comments such as, "You really shouldn't try to get a job. Keep writing. I have a feeling things are going to take off for you this year."

Brianna moving into her own first home ... which was the first home Jim and I owned ... which was a weensy bit weird ... yet wonderful.

Signing with an agent. A real NYC agent. (Stay tuned for the miles o' smiles when she gets my work accepted for publication!)

My splendiferous end-of-summer adventure with Bubby.

Andrea getting an awesome new position that makes the most of her people skills and winning ways.

 Megan and Preston announcing that baby No. 2 -- grandson No. 2! -- is on his way. Hip-hip-hooray!

Celebrating Thanksgiving with my entire immediate family for the first time in several years.

Grandma's Briefs readers. Grandma's Briefs Facebook friends. Grandma's Briefs Twitter followers. That's you ... and you ... and YOU!

I can't wait to see what calls forth all the sure-to-come smiles in 2011. Whatever they may be, I look forward to sharing them with you.

Happy New Year! Best wishes for peace, prosperity, love -- and lots of smiles -- for all in 2011!

Today's question:

What brought you smiles in 2010?

9 things I will NOT do in 2011

While lots of folks are making lists of all the things they plan to do in the new year, I'm taking the other tack and offering up 9 things I will not do in 2011:

1. I will not give up coffee. You can't make me, you can't make me, you can't make me.

2. I will not join a gym. At least not until I'm in better shape.

3. I will not become an alcoholic, a position covered quite well by plenty of people around me. As Mattie Ross said in the original True Grit, "I won't put a thief in my mouth to steal my brain." (That doesn't mean, of course, that I won't let a thief borrow my brain now and then; lending it out on occasion can be quite enjoyable when in the right company.)

4. In the same vein, I will not be an enabler for those around me who allowed their brains to be stolen. And I will not be an enabler of the enablers who are enabling those with missing brains to death. Literally.

5. I will not get too serious on this blog. Or too revealing. Or too personal. Most of the time.

6. I will not snigger or snort at whatever name Megan and Preston choose for my second grandson. Unless it's BillyBobJoeDon. Or Ashton. Or SkippyJon Jones (thanks, Mrs. Mayhem).

7. I will not get frustrated while trying to improve my photo-editing skills. And photo-taking skills. Okay ... I will not lie, either, so disregard what I just said about photos.

8. I will not give up -- on my books, my blog, my bank account. Or my dreams of the lives my girls should be leading. Or my dream of winning PCH ... or the lotto.

9. I will not make resolutions. At least not those that I'm darn-shooting sure from the get-go that I won't come within spitting distance of accomplishing.

Photo: Petr Kratochvil

Today's question:

What will you NOT do in 2011?

Nine Christmas questions

Santa Bubby ... unrelated to the post but too darn cute to pass up.I have this festive little book called The Christmas Conversation Piece: Creative Questions to Illuminate the Holidays. It's what sparks or provides many of the "Holiday Question of the Day" questions I've been posting all month.

I usually post ones that require a little thought, a fair amount of commentary, as I like to hear what's on the minds of my readers, in your words and stories. Today, though, for my post, I'm going to shoot out nine quick questions from the book that require short answers, questions that don't require a whole heckuva lot of thought ... yet still provide a good glimpse into the minds of my readers. And I'm going to provide my answers to each, too, just because I feel like being Christmas-y that way.

So read through the questions and my answers. Then comment with your answers to the questions -- all nine or just a few -- if you feel like being Christmas-y that way, too.

Here goes:

1. What Christmas song drives you nuts? My answer: Paul McCartney's "Wonderful Christmas Time." Hate it!

2. Which of the following four events would you most enjoy attending during the holiday season: a stage production of Dickens's A Christmas Carol, a choral concert of Handel's Messiah, a performance of Tchaikovsky's ballet The Nutcracker ... or (my addition to the actual question) a performance of David Sedaris' Santaland Diaries? My answer: Santaland Diaries!

3. Do you prefer blinking or non-blinking lights on a Christmas tree? My answer: Non-blinking

4. At Christmastime, which do you honestly enjoy more -- giving or receiving? My answer: Giving. Honest.

5. This year, would you rather spend Christmas at a penthouse in the city or at a cottage in the country? My answer: Cottage in the country

6. If snow could fall in any flavor, what flavor would you choose? My answer: Lemon ice (or lemon drop martinis but that wouldn't be good for the kids ... or the alcoholics ... in the crowd so I'll stick with lemon ice).

7. Given the choice, would you rather host people at your place for Christmas or spend the holiday at someone else's home? My answer: My place

8. If someone wanted to give you a $100 gift certificate for Christmas, what store would you want it to be from? My answer: Amazon.com

9. On a scale of one to ten (with one being very relaxing and ten being very stressful), how stressful is THIS holiday season for you? (My emphasis on THIS; the real question is THE.) My answer: Six

Holiday question of the day:

What are your answers to the nine Christmas questions?

The stockings are hung ...

Last week I knocked out a few holiday chores. So, yes, the stockings are now hung. And I have the wreaths up, the garland on the banisters and railings and porch, the tree done, the village up and running, the nativity scene arranged, and the box for Megan, Preston and Brayden dropped off at UPS for Tuesday delivery.

With all that I've accomplished, I'd like to think I'm pretty close to being ready for Christmas. But I'm not. I still have much to do this coming week, including:

1. Bake 14 dozen cookies for Saturday's annual family cookie swap.

2. Buy one more gift for Jim.

3. Buy one more gift for Andrea.

4. Buy two more gifts for Brianna.

5. Make the food gifts I'm giving friends and family.

6. Buy the gifts for Abby, Isabel, Mickey and Lyla ... aka "the animals."

7. Wrap all the gifts. (We still have zero gifts under the tree.)

8. Do the Christmas cards.

9. Watch Love, Actually, Joyeux Noel, While You Were Sleeping, and White Christmas in its entirety (I've only caught snippets on AMC). Without these, it surely doesn't feel like Christmas.

And how many of those things do you really think I'll be able to check off my list this week? Considering the procrastinator I am, I'm pretty sure I'll only get through No. 1 (thanks to the drop-dead deadline of Saturday), accomplish bits and pieces of Nos. 5 and 7, and possibly knock out one of the four flicks in No. 9.

Nos. 2, 3, 4, 6 and 8? Well, let's be honest here: Why do today this week what can be put off til tomorrow next week?

Photo credit: stock.xchng

Holiday question of the day?

How much of your holiday to-do list do you have left to do?

9 things on my mind as I head to the desert

I wrote this post earlier this week as I'll be visiting Bubby, Megan and Preston on Thursday. Hooray!

As I prepare for my visit to the desert, here are nine of the many thoughts cluttering up my mind:

1. Are the animals going to be okay being alone all day while I'm gone? I've become their pack leader since only working part-time; what will they do without me? Especially because it'll be too chilly for the dogs to be outside while Jim's at work. Will they miss me?

2. Sheesh! Why in the world are my animals such a huge concern? They're dogs and cats, for heaven's sake. But they're now my only resident babies. Well, they're Jim's babies, too. He can take care of them. Although not as well as I do. (But only because I'm home most of the day.)

3. Do I need to take the larger suitcase since my Gramma Bag has gotten so full?

4. Books ... books? What Halloween book will I be reading to Bubby's preschool class on Friday? Should I go buy a few? Will Megan have some? Will Bubby's teacher? Will it be one requiring me to sing and clap and recite "dem bones" in a funky rapping fashion that may be a preschool teacher's style but isn't mine ... at least not in public?

5. Halloween treats. How can I fit into just a few days all the goodies I want to make with Bubby without putting him into sugar shock? Or Megan into conniption fits over all the sugar? But it's Halloween, and I have festive ideas from Grandma Lizzie and Grandma Nina to try out. Maybe I can sneak in a few while Megan's at work.

6. Which reminds me: I forgot to buy the orange paint for the Halloween treat holder and all the candies for decorating Halloween cookies. Gotta run to Hobby Lobby still ... and Walmart.

7. I hate Walmart ... why do I end up going there at least twice a week?

8. Cuss ... if I'm going to Walmart I might as well pick up a special toy for the dogs. Maybe they'll be less likely to lament my absence if they have something new and interesting to tear up chew on.

9. Uh, my dogs. Are they going to be sad without me?

Today's question:

Do you kennel your animals when you go away for a few days or do you have someone come to your home to take care of them? (Not that I need to do either this time since Jim will be home; just asking.)

Grandma's got a brand-new bag

Full disclosure here: Contrary to the post title, this grandma doesn't really have a brand-new bag. What I do have is an

old

bag filled with

new

fun to share with Bubby when I visit him next week.

Here's the deal: Soon after Megan first had Bubby, one little girl in her class regaled Megan with tales of her visiting grandma. A primary reason for the girl's excitement, Megan learned, was the special bag Grandma brought along every time she visited her grandchildren. The bag was filled with all kinds of goodies for the grandchildren to use and share and enjoy during the visit, but the fun was always packed up with Grandma to take home with her, keeping it fresh and exciting for the kids each time.

It sounded like a wonderful idea back when Megan told me, and now that Bubby has reached the age where he'd be delighted by such a thing, I'm copying the idea.

I've gathered together some goodies for the inaugural toting of my very own Gramma's bag to the desert, and here are the nine things I have inside it so far:

Disney movies. It'll take years and years before Bubby is caught up on the wonders of Walt Disney movies, but this time we'll likely fit in at least one, chosen from Wall-E, Robots and Monsters, Inc.

Picture books. I have piles of picture books to review, and a visit with Bubby is the perfect time to try them out on their intended audience.

A Hatch-N-Grow dinosaur egg. I'm willing to bet Bubby will no longer be afraid of the hatching egg and is ready for hatching his own. I think it'll make a difference for Gramma to be there to get things started ... and to bring along the dinosaur hatched from my practice run.

KIDZ BOP Dance Party video game for the Wii. This, too, is a review item I recently received. Considering Bubby's love for the KIDZ BOP CD -- and Megan and Preston's wish for some active games for their new Wii -- I'm thinking this will be the highlight of the bag.

"Mini Disco Set." Along with the dance party game above, I received a rotating mirror ball, LED light and three neon glow-in-the-dark party sticks to really set the dance party vibe. This grandma can't wait to get the party started!

The Original Squirmles. Okay, I still gotta figure out how to make these darn things squirm, but the young man at Bed, Bath and Beyond said they're all the rage with the kids nowadays.

A "Find-It" container. Hidden within a tube filled with beads are shells, nails, Bobby pins, pennys and more that Bubby and I will do our darndest to find all 47 on the list.

An Elmo flash drive for toddlers. Another review item, this nifty little USB drive is already loaded with a "Best of Elmo" video, with space left for me to add photos or videos for Bubby to enjoy anytime Megan will let him plug it in to a USB port on the computer. I'll teach my favorite toddler in the world how to plug it in -- or how to wear it on his wrist when not in use.

Caramel Apple Taffy. THIS is my favorite holiday candy, taffy that is available only for a short time (at least where I live) beginning around Halloween. I figure it can't hurt to share some of Gramma's favorite candy with her favorite grandson.

There's still a week before takeoff, so who knows what may be added. My plan is to keep the bag filled with these items and more so Bubby eagerly anticipates the opening of Gramma's bag during each visit, just as Megan's former student did with her grandma's bag.

Of course, I'm already thinking I may have to relax my rules just a tad and leave an item or two with Bubby when I head home. No sense having the fun (and Elmo flash drive) wasting away, unused in a bag in the closet for months, when a little boy (and his parents) could be enjoying it. Right?

Besides, leaving an item or two will give me more space to add something new to Gramma's bag -- just in time for the Thanksgiving visit!

Today's question:

What do you remember about your grandmother's or mother's bag or purse?

Mom 2.0: Better than Mom 1.0

I've always considered it a parent's duty to create a better life for their children than the one they had themselves, to improve the family's lot with each generation. Regardless of how grand -- or not -- a person's life may be, there's always room for improvement, and their kids should be the beneficiaries of such.

With that in mind, I've worked hard to ensure my daughters are more content, better educated, more financially secure than I was at their age, along with myriad other upgrades in comparision to how things were for me. Now that they're all adults, I'm seeing the fruits of my labor in all of them, in numerous ways.

But as Megan is the only one of my daughters to become a mother so far, in her I see that not only is she better educated and more financially secure than I was in my mid-20s, she is a much better mom than I was at her age.

Here are nine reasons why I say that:

1. Megan has tricks and techniques for discipline, character building, motor-skill encouraging and more that I never dreamed of when my kids were Bubby's age. Most come by way of her early childhood education training and her work as a pre-K teacher, but that simply means there was a two-fold payoff from my "better educated" goal for my girls.

2. Megan is better at spacing her children than I was. I wouldn't give anything in the world for the way my babies came in rapid succession, as things really do (and did) happen for a reason. But allowing Bubby some time as an only child, with his own room and gads of attention before Baby No. 2 comes along, seems a much better plan than my non-plan nearly 30 years ago.

3. Megan swims. And hikes. And runs. And engages Bubby in outdoorsy pursuits that keep him healthy and happy. I'm a rather sedate, indoorsy kind of mom. I think outdoorsy is better.

4. Megan looks forward to Bubby playing football. I'm just thankful I never had boys and had to endure years of watching my child get knocked around on the field. I honestly don't know that I could have -- or would have -- done it. I may have ended up not allowing a son to play football ... and that son likely would have hated me for that.

5. Megan is more fearless than I ever was. She allows Bubby to find his own footing on play structures, lets him figure out how to get up and down stairs on his own at an early age, lives in the desert where rattlesnakes and scorpions roam, lets Bubby ride Roxy like a horse until Roxy gently decides enough is enough. I'm overprotective to a fault. (Brianna, Andrea, Megan: You never heard me admit that!)

6. Megan let Bubby take the lead in his potty training, making it a non-issue -- and completely accomplished in less than a week. I, on the other hand, scarred Brianna for life, I'm sure, by adherence to the idiotic ideas in a book called "Toilet Training In A Day." A day which was marked by tears, not success.

7. Megan chose godparents according to what was best for Bubby. I (along with Jim) chose godparents with the intent of honoring those chosen.

8. Megan tries new recipes for dinner every night in hopes of widening her family's culinary horizon. Well, not every night, she says, but nearly every night ... and far more often than this mother who tended to go with the tried and true far too often.

9. Last but not least, Megan taught Bubby from a very early age how to make good choices -- something I'm still trying to teach my daughters.

Megan has only one child at this point, whereas when I was her age, I had three. So the real test of my assertion that she's a better mom than I will come when babies No. 2 and No. 3 come along.

Do I question whether she'll pass? Not at all.

I have no doubt whatsoever Megan will pass with flying colors -- colors I likely would never have even dreamt of.

9 books I own - but won't read

I may have mentioned a time or two that I have an addiction ... to books. I buy them, collect them, ask for them as gifts, eagerly request them for reviewing.

Unfortunately I don't read them ... at least not at a rate equal to the rate at which they fill up my shelves.

I do plan to read them eventually. At least most of them.

Here, though, are nine books I own that I've not read. Nine books I likely never will read. Nine books I can't get rid of ... simply because they're old and I like the way they look on my shelf ... even unread.

(Call me shallow, if you wish; you're probably right.)

1. The Complete Plays and Poems of William Shakespeare edited by William Allan Neilson and Charles Jarvis Hill (1942)

2. A Treasury of American Folklore edited by B.A. Botkin with a foreward by Carl Sandburg (1951)

3. The Philosophy of Man by Henri Renard, S.J. (1948)

4. Home Geography by C.C. Long (1894)

5. Guilderoy by Ouida (1903)

6. Phonology and Orthoepy by Albert Salisbury (1907)

7. The Lost Prince by Frances Hodgson Burnett (1915)

8. Lorna Doone by R.D. Blackmore (1906)

9. Gone With The Wind by Margaret Mitchell (1964)

Those aren't the only unread oldies on my shelf; there are plenty more (e.g. Character Reading for Fun and Popularity). But because I like to make list posts that contain 9 things, those are all I'm sharing this time around.

Today's question:

What book(s) do you own that you've not read and possibly never will?

My swollen heart

Sunday afternoon as I sat out on the patio listening to the waterfall gurgle and the birds chirp and warble as they flitted from the waterfall to the birdbath to the flower-covered vines decorating our back fence, an overwhelming sense of gratitude came over me.

Out of nowhere, my heart swelled with gratitude for my crazy house and overgrown yard and that, despite a house payment that doubled when we bought this house -- and the stress accompanying it when we both lost our jobs relatively soon after -- this is the place Jim and I plan to call home for the rest of our days. I love my house. I’m so grateful for my house.

Yes, it’s a material thing. But this material thing makes me happy and content … and grateful.

After a week of thinking about, writing about, cussing about all the things I think suck in my life, all the things I worry endlessly about, it was nice to suddenly, inexplicably realize a plethora of things for which I’m grateful. Things I’m blessed with that truly trump all the fears, doubts, worries and complaints I let get in my way each and every day.

I’m grateful my family – immediate and extended – has never suffered a true tragedy. We often succumb to fear and trembling over imagined tragedies when the reality is that we have been tragedy free and have it pretty darn good.

I’m grateful I was laid off and given the opportunity to consider and pursue a career path that matters to me.

I’m grateful for Jim, who supports that career path even though it means far less money than the one I previously fell into. I'm grateful for Jim for countless other reasons, too.

I’m grateful my girls grew into such lovely, amazing, thoughtful, intelligent, empathetic women … something I never thought would happen while in the throes of the teen years.

I’m grateful for Bubby. And that I get to see him more often than some long-distance grandparents get to see their grandchildren. And that Megan and Preston happily share him with me -- a consideration not all grandparents are afforded.

I’m grateful Megan and Preston are doing the right thing by my grandchild -- another thing not afforded all grandparents.

I’m grateful for a twisted childhood because it twisted me into an unusual shape. It may be a weird shape, but it’s different. And different is good.

I’m grateful that Jim and I continue to have the money we need. Plus some. Plus lots, considering what many others have.

I’m grateful for those who read what I write, who act like the gunk and junk that flows from my head to my fingers and onto the page and screen is worth reading.

I’m grateful for the unexpected gratitude that filled me up, made me consider what matters, what’s important and what’s worth being grateful for.

Photo credit: stock.xchng

Today's question:

What are you grateful for today?